


Xander Harris Meta

by womanaction



Series: Buffy Meta [5]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 10:59:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11034810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanaction/pseuds/womanaction
Summary: Two pieces of Xander Harris meta originally posted on Tumblr in 2013 & 2014.





	1. Xander Harris: Actually Amazing

I hate Xander Harris hate, and I see a surprising amount of it. This initially boggled my mind when I started to get into the BtVS fandom. “How can anybody possibly hate Xander?” I asked myself, late at night, tears streaming down my face. 

Okay, it’s not like the complaints are entirely off-base. Most of them focus on Xander’s Nice Guy ™ attitude re: Buffy, his sexism, and his treatment of Anya. I’m not trying to say these things don’t exist, or that they should be excused, but what I am trying to say is that I believe the show addresses these issues and that  _they are part of his character development_.

Xander, like Dawn, seems to pick up a lot of fandom hate that I have never understood. Maybe it’s because neither one is “special”, I don’t know. If I even think about Xander’s speech in “Potential” I will start crying, so I’m not gonna reference that here. I’m just saying. Maybe that’s it.

Anyway, I just want to address a couple of these ideas I see about Xander and express why  _I_ think these are well-handled/important/whatever. Be patient with me.

_1\. His Nice Guy-ness_

Okay, I will totally admit that Xander’s attitude re: Buffy, especially in season 1, irks me. My irkage is extremely high. Xander does the puppydog stalking thing, the expecting reciprocation, the “I don’t just wanna be friends” thing. Painful to watch, really. (Some of this is also due to my extreme sympathy for Willow at that time, just watching as he’s all into her best friend. I’ve been there, honey.)

So yes, that is stereotypical Nice Guy crap. At the beginning, Xander totally thinks he’s entitled to Buffy, as in “Prophecy Girl” where her rejection of him sends him into a ridiculous depression. Bro, she was never into you.

BUT. 

Is this behavior abnormal? No. 

Is this behavior approved by the show? Again, no. Xander’s pain may be portrayed sympathetically, but so is Willow’s (see “Innocence”), who also has no claim on the object of her affections. I don’t think the show takes “sides” in the first big love triangle, and it clearly shows Buffy/Angel as the pairing that will emerge victorious. 

Does Xander’s behavior change? Yes, yes, yes. 

Xander develops as a person, accepting Buffy’s relationship even when he doesn’t like it. Does he act as a paragon of maturity? No. But he deals with it, and even seems to be softening towards Angel until the whole turning-evil thing.

Of course, then we have “Becoming Part II” and Xander’s infamous dick move where he lies to Buffy about Willow trying to restore Angel’s soul. Was that crappy? Yes. Did that have anything to do with residual feelings for Buffy? Honestly, I have a hard time believing that. We see again and again that Xander is intensely loyal and not really someone to give second chances (except regarding Willow). Once he takes someone’s side, he pretty much likes them forever…see Cordelia in “The Prom”, Riley in “Into The Woods”, etc. For comparison, he gets really angry about Angel (and Spike) because he never liked them to begin with. 

Maybe Xander’s dislike of Angel began with jealousy, but I think it evolved into something more like loyalty to his best friend who was nearly killed by Angel(us). Yes, there is the scene in “Killed By Death” where Angelus accuses Xander of still having feelings for Buffy, but other than that, if he has feelings for her he has buried them for both their sakes. Wow, that sounds remarkably mature, at least for Xander.

_2\. His sexism_

Again, yeah, I see where people get this, like his whole macho-woundedness in “Halloween”. But you know what?

Xander goes from not wanting Buffy to protect him for fear of his manliness being damaged to telling her that she’s his hero and that he thinks “What would Buffy do?” (“The Freshman”). Hm, that doesn’t sound very sexist to me. In fact, Xander really accepts his place as the “heart”, a nontraditional role for one of the few males in the group, from season 3 on. His upbringing probably instilled some sexist values in him, but then he changed his ideas. Good for him. That’s a thing that happens.

Xander also makes sexist/sexual jokes, which I admit are also not my favorite thing sometimes. However, Xander’s general tactlessness is part of his character, and rarely are these jokes passed by. Either someone recognizes them as a joke that he can get away with (again, Buffy in “The Freshman”) or he gets outnumbered by the womenfolk. This is probably the most problematic aspect of his character, but in a fandom where the most problematic aspect of, say, Willow’s character involves memory wiping and, you know, murder, I’d say Xander’s not looking too bad.

(I love Willow, too, by the way, so I’m not trying to bash her.)

_3\. His treatment of Anya_

Okay, frankly, I don’t really get this one. I guess you could be trying to say that he’s frequently negative and short-tempered? I really don’t know. I don’t get this. Anyway.

The worse aspects of his behavior toward her, however, is obviously addressed in the show (“Hell’s Bells”) and is recognized to possibly stem from his parents…or at least that’s what Xander feels. See, he’s conscientious about this stuff. Moreover, he is significantly more accepting of Anya’s quirks than the rest of the Scoobies are, so…yeah, again, I don’t get this.

 _In conclusion_ …

I think Xander Harris is awesome, and I will probably write another meta about him that is less rambly and less fandom-focused and more just talking about my favorite qualities about him. I don’t understand why some characters (Xander, Dawn, etc.) have to work ten times as hard to be accepted as some of the ~magically forgiven~ members of the gang, but, you know, I get that you can’t choose what characters you like. Despite my best efforts, I still don’t like Riley. 

Still, I hope that whether or not you like Xander, this (not-so-)little meta helped to explain another view on his actions and development.


	2. Xander's Overactive Imagination

I was recently watching some mid-S2 episodes with my friend who is watching Buffy for the first time. In 2x13 “Surpise”, Xander is complaining about Buffy’s attachment to Angel.

> XANDER  
> It’s sad. Granted. But let’s look at  
> the up-side for a moment. I mean,  
> what kind of future could she have  
> really had with him? Working two  
> jobs. Denny’s waitress by day, Slayer  
> by night. Angel’s always in front of  
> the tube, with a big ole’ blood belly…  
> And he’s dreaming of the glory days  
> when Buffy still thought the whole  
> creature of the night routine was a big turn-on…
> 
> WILLOW  
> You’ve thought way too much about this-
> 
> XANDER  
> That’s just the beginning. You want to  
> hear the part where I fly into town in my  
> private jet and take Buffy out for prime rib?
> 
> (script courtesy of BuffyWorld)

Putting S2 Xander’s slight creepiness aside, let’s think about this. I mean, he has a point, right? Angel does end up leaving her at the end of the next season for this very reason. What kind of future could she have had with him? Later seasons (including the comics) place a heavy emphasis on Buffy’s sexuality, and although they don’t yet know this, knowing she can never  _have_ him…knowing that any intense happiness could turn him into a crazed killer…well, that’s bound to put strain on any relationship.

Okay, so Xander had a point. Bound to happen sometimes. But then it happens again, two episodes later, in “Phases”…

> BUFFY  
> And it’s sure going to put a strain on  
> Willow and Oz’s relationship.
> 
> XANDER  
> What relationship? What kind of life   
> could they possibly have? You’re talking   
> obedience school, paper training. Oz   
> would be burying all their stuff in the   
> backyard. And that kind of breed can   
> turn on its owner.
> 
> BUFFY  
> I don’t know. I see Oz as the loyal type.
> 
> XANDER
> 
> I’m just saying, she’s not safe with him. 

Wait…what? Xander is totally right again. Not about the paper training (ew), but about Oz turning on Willow. At the beginning of season 4, his impulses get the better of him, animal attraction, etc., and he sleeps with another werewolf lady while they’re both in animal form. Willow also becomes a “trigger” for Oz’s wolf side - late in S4, when he returns to find out that she’s moved on to Tara, he almost attacks Tara when he turns against his will.

At this point, my friend said, “What is it with Xander and his crazy hypotheticals?”

I laughed and agreed. Kind of a wacky thing, like how Ron’s off-the-wall divination in Harry Potter turns out to be on the nose. Xander unconsciously picks up on this stuff. Or maybe he can see the future. Whatever.

Then I stopped laughing, because I remembered 6x16 “Hell’s Bells”. Xander leaves Anya (generally considered to be his one true love) at the altar because of a hypothetical future. He sees “his future self” (really a demon), sees an abusive, unhealthy marriage in their future and leaves.

Of course Xander thinks about this stuff. Willow’s parents seem okay, if in their own little world. Buffy’s parents divorced due to sudden infidelity. But Xander’s parents seem to hate each other…but they still live in the same house. Xander expects the worst from everybody’s relationships, and while he may be right, it also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Too afraid of becoming his parents, he (like Angel and like Oz) leaves Anya for “her own good”. Cue “aww” for all parties involved.


End file.
